Hello, sector.

I would like the opportunity to report on recent events from my perspective. I apologise if this is a long post but I feel compelled to elucidate.

As you are all by now probably aware, there was a demonstration made by the Order of the Peaceful Sleep, (also known as the 'T'rath death cult') last week at Nocturne Station.

I explained my personal stance to the concerned citizens who came in person to Nocturne station, and I feel it is only right to share this explanation and expand on it to everyone.

I am not seeking vindication. I understand the reason for wishing to see me go the same way as Shoko. But I would appreciate a chance to respond and be heard. None of this comes with any hidden agenda and is not an excuse - it is a statement or report of events from where I have been standing.

The events at Nocturne were orchestrated outside of my influence and I was entirely excluded from the plans until the day they were executed. I had heard of a scheme to bomb the cloning facility in prior weeks and months but I had opposed them as they did not correspond with the goals as I saw them for the order.

A new member, Flipilaria, had joined the Order. This was also a decision made outside of my knowledge. She was being very vocal and attempting to be coercive about a specific plan to target HETE facilities around the sector. She argued with my counterpoints to her plan and its relevance to our mission and appeared to be under the impression that our function was to systematically destroy cloning facilities.

This is not the case.

As far as I was aware, the mission of the Order has never been to take life from people early or without their consent. I would like to take this as an opportunity to remind those in the order currently inhabiting and fighting in Litharge (or elsewhere) that we do not - at least, I do not - condone the non-consentual removal of life, whether they have an INR or not. Death is an honor, yes. But we should be focusing our efforts elsewhere rather than using the themes of the Order to indulge our lusts for blood, power or marks.

Our first demonstration at The Celestine Crossings was intended as a shocking opening gambit. A way to make people take notice of our mission. I was asked by Shoko to cause a distraction so that the guards would not stop the intended closure of the facility. I also thought that this would mean that they would not be injured. I had visited the Eckin several times in the preceding weeks. As a citizen of Litharge I had formed a routine of going to see Sslenick and had been considering how we could help him for some time. When Shoko asked, I thought that I could both help Sslenick and cause my distraction at the same time. However, when I arrived, Clover was there. I spoke to Sslenick in front of her. I exchanged meaningful and loving words with him and he told me he no longer wished to be chained to his tortured corporeal form and was ready to ascend to the next level of his existence. I had begun to work the most humane of deaths for Sslenick - asimple suffocation - when the guardians of Celestine arrived and, quite understandably, started to dispatch me as they believed I was attempting murder. The bomb given to me by Shoko in case of emergency then detonated in my bag and Sslenick was set free.

To those of you who have asked me why I did not just break the lock and set him free - I ask you the same. If it were that simple why had none of you done so in the months and years he had been enslaved there? It appeared to be an impossible task. It baffles me that - to a civilised society like Celestine - releasing a sentient being from a small cage is so far beyond the realms of bureaucrisy. Perhaps this is an issue to consider within your guardianship. Perhaps I am being naive and simplistic here too, but I do not see why everything must be so complex.

Which brings me neatly to the point. We are all the eckin. We are all stuck inside of ourselves; inside complex puzzle boxes and cages which may look easy to open to the outsider. Our bodies break repeatedly and yet we lock our Selves back into another block of flesh and expectation. We never grow tired or sick or even suffer from injury for too long. These things are fundamental to sentient existence, as is death. The lives we live are frittered. We seek thrills in deathmatches and dangerous hunting spots to prove our might, when actually the beast kills us over and over and over again we are just too stubborn to admit that. All despite actually being bested by it. Losing X INRs - X disposable existences for what? To whittle down a creature who does not have an INR? To experience a thrill? Yes to be given the opportunity to stay alive when one is cut short and still driven is a tragedy, and the fact we have the means to avoid that is fortunate. I do not begrudge anyone a long and fulfilling life. But the fact remains that we are not valuing these things - we are leaning on the crutch of regeneration. What meaning does life have with no end? What does a simple sentence mean with no terminal punctuation?

I am not a pacifist. I am logical and the way the world appears to work makes no logical sense to me.

Not being dead is not living.

For those in privileged lives it is easy to say that you live well and imbue your lives with meaning. I am very pleased for you. However, a lot in posession of an INR take it for granted. We are the We. You experience life one way and may respond one way, but as a collective culture we are responsible for the trends that occur. Especially in positions of power. I see people lost in their mindsims, distracted and uncaring, or blocking out life at all costs with stocks and shares and warfare and business - killing for fun or for prowess in their free time and not caring about their bodies or environments, and not caring about the ones they tread on to get there who often cannot afford the privileges that they so abuse. It is easy to say 'I' do not do this, or 'I' act better than that, but we all form the whole of this existence and cannot shirk responsibility for the bad parts just because we are living better lives.

It was my understanding that the first demonstration at the Crossings was supposed to be a symbol of that. I enthused that to shut down the means of regeneration or at least make it inconvenient would make people consider their actions more. It would perhaps make them think more carefully about what they are doing with their lives - to interrupt the routine of throwing our lives away over and over and over again.

But when Flipilaria came into our lives and told me that 'We have to chop off the limbs in order to take down the body' (or words to that effect, I lack the ability to reproduce her intonation) with regards to HETE I could see that she did not share our common mission. I saw that other members of the Order were approving of her and that power and volume and violence had taken over. Shoko had been missing for months, and I prepared to denounce the order as soon as I could speak with Shoko. I could see no logic or effect in destroying the cloning facility at Nocturne. It was a waste of our time and resources for an activity that would have little to no impact other than to solidify our image as a baffling group of terrorists. I was frustrated that we were being hijacked and that I, personally was being scapegoated and pushed into publicly leading a group with whom I could no longer identify. I had found a sense of belonging in the T'rath family which I have since lost.

I realize that at this point my word has little value, but I feel a responsibility to highlight this:

Flipilaria is not only a traitor to the order, she is a traitor to the sector. She orchestrated a violent act against a facility dangerously close to a warzone - not in an attempt to 'take down' the order, but for a motive I did not have time to identify. I know am in no position of influence, but I would urge all governments, factions and businesses to cease interactions with this highly untrustworthy and duplicitous individual. It appears she is unphased by committing permanent murder and large-scale destruction in order to achieve whatever her goal is. Whatever the volume she shouts and however frustrating it may be to attempt to reason with her, do not submit to her bombardment. My personal loss in this matter is irrelevant. She is dangerous. Treat her with caution and perhaps the same kind of persecution you are giving to me.

I managed to speak with Shoko just before I arrived at Nocturne. I only attended because it was the only way I could see him. I had been in turmoil for months. He reassured me that he was aware of Flipilaria's treachery but planned to utilise her ulterior motive in order to use the comms tower there to broadcast Phryxi's ascension. I suppose Phryxi may have felt as though their death would be more meaningful to be done symbolically. It is a shame that it is now tainted by treachery and that her life was used as a tool. I hope that they, and Shoko have gone well to better things.

Despite the public image of me I have never committed murder. I did not even kill the Eckin and I hear he still lives. I am glad that he does.

I can see that in some ways I was naive and mislead. T'rath is something I respect, but is not a part of my native belief system so I do not even know if I can say any longer that I personally believe in T'rath in a literal sense. I saw something in the religion that resonated so strongly with what remains of my feelings of 'home' that after years of feeling alone I embraced it entirely. I intended to be strong and to make the world a better place.

I have more recently felt a more true sense of home. I now realise that I had been clutching for anything that made me feel secure and the lure of belonging was irresistable. But then when something, somebody enters your life that gives that sense of belonging without constriction - with true acceptance - it can change perspectives. I apologise if this sentiment is 'squishy'. It feels different to wanting to come back to fight for a cause or to reach a goal.

I will be keeping my INR until I deem it appropriate to remove it. When I am ready, I will be honored to die a good death for the sustenance of my community.



Ren - Your protection of your people is admirable. Our previous conversations about various topics were enlightening. I do, however understand your animosity towards me. I would not expect your endorsement. I hope that my report is useful and helps to clarify things for you and the other guardians.

Rylek - Your public message was directed at me personally. As I mentioned I suppose I have been placed at the forefront of this so I can understand. I also understand why you wish to see me dead, given my presence and visibility in the activities of the Order. But I hope that my post is useful to you.

To the other masked individuals - who spared mine and Frixxi's lives at Nocturne and even spent some time with us, you have my gratitude for allowing us to speak and be heard. And to the ry'nari who spoke with Frixxi about her wish to join T'rath with their sibling. I believe your care was well-placed and you showed kindness. I also do not wish them to ascend just yet, but if they choose to do so I will support them in that decision.

There is no true joy without fear of pain
There is no true love without fear of loss
There is no true life without fear of death.